A Look in to My Past: Bad Eating Habits, Anorexia, Yo-Yo Dieting and Adopting a Plant Based Lifestyle

Growing up I was always in love with vegetables, even as a toddler my mom would joke “my little bunny rabbit” because unlike other kids I was the one who actually enjoyed eating their greens.

As I got older I quickly realized that eating ‘healthy’ was not the norm for a low-income family. My mother always had food on the table but it wasn’t always the healthiest option rather what we could afford.

She always made large portions of items on sale so that we had food for the whole family and the entire week, she bought cheaper items in bulk.

Things such as spaghetti, lasagna, tacos, and hamburger helper were constant in our household.

I remember telling my mom, “when I grow up I will have this refrigerator” (pointing out a picture of a plant based refrigerator full of luscious fruits, leafy greens and tons of crunchy veggies)

She just laughed, “One day, Crystal”

As I got older I adopted this easy and cheap lifestyle of processed fast foods and take-out.

It’s simple really, this food tends to be easier for busy lifestyles and cheaper for those who do not have the extra cash for organic goods… and well let’s face it processed food is addicting—really, really addicting.

I soon became every other girl you hear about and decided to start starving myself to obtain the body that I wanted.

I spent a whole summer working on my dream bod through an ice cube diet and an occasional cheez-it when I was feeling a little too woozy.

Yes, you can say I was crazy or obsessed and you’re right I was.

I was jealous of my beautiful, skinny friends that didn’t have to do anything to obtain their perfect bodies.

I wanted to feel good in my own skin, and I didn’t know how to do so, I felt stuck and yes I became completely and utterly obsessed.

You see, I took things in to my own hands and at that moment in my stupid, teenage self I knew what I wanted to do and that was to starve myself.

And I became good at it—really, good

I can recall myself saying “I’d much rather feel hungry than full”. I absolutely hated the feeling of being full, so much that you could say I was almost disgusted by it.

Each time the number dropped on the scale, it was like a personal victory and encouraged me to keep on keeping on.

After that Summer, I went back to school and I can still recall the moment I was in the changing room, getting dressed after P.E

I still felt insecure about my body and tried to hide my super skinny, double zero size, 105-pound self.

When I left the locker room I remember a girl in my class came up to me and told me that she had noticed I lost a lot of weight and she told me how good I looked.

I remember that feeling was everything. Everything I had ever wanted, hoped and dreamed of hearing.

This feeling just further encouraged me to take it to the extreme…

After about a year of a hiding my secret, people started to notice.

My mom being the first started to make sure I would eat before I had left the table, my aunt who noticed I never ate at family functions and soon my family started to talk.

I was forced to eat a little now and it was unsettling.

I started to gain weight back—fast and I was going into my sophomore year of high school.

I can still recall the sorrow I felt when I heard one of my “best friends” telling someone else in secret how much weight I was gaining and how fat I was becoming.

Not to mention I wasn’t fat at all, I was normal. I stood at 5’3 and weighed about 120-125 pounds and was still being called fat.

Let’s just say that time in my life sucked and was the very start of my yo-yo dieting habits.

After that, I became a full-time college student and part time waitress at a pizza restaurant where free food was a constant.

I ate free, processed food daily and started to slowly gain more weight…

We called it the restaurant 10, because everyone gained about 10 pounds the first month of working there.

And now I was stuck in this body that I was not comfortable in, slowly growing more depressed and finding every quick diet trend in a desperate hope to fix it all.

Then one night I watched a documentary… well a couple documentaries.

Food Inc, Cowspiracy and the one that really lead me down a plant based path What the Health

These changed my views on everything.

For the first time in my life I wasn’t looking to just get skinny through a quick fix, I was looking to get healthy and to not only change my body short term but to change my lifestyle for the long term.

I was looking at things such as diabetes, heart disease, cancer, etc…

I was looking at how to become healthy and happy and to just feel better all around.

I decided to embark on a plant based journey, combined with a solid workout routine and healing the mind and body from within.

I cannot wait to start this journey and can’t wait to get back to my bunny rabbit eating ways.

If you would like to follow my journey into a healthier lifestyle and a colorful, plentiful diet or if you have any kind of negative body issues that you would like help with (just as I did and still do) Please follow through my blog titles #Plantsforlife or Instagram @berry.lost

I will have upcoming recipes, workouts, weekly food hauls, meditation and mind healing techniques.

Lets get healthy and happy inside and out together #Plantsforlife

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